4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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