The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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