your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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