I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
