So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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