Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize