She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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