it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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