He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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