had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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