I think I died a long time ago.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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