hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
