remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize