Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
