i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
