Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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