So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
try to milk me bitch
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