Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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