I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
