he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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