Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
