This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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