Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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