After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
