sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
