he shaved USA in his pubs
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
