At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
