sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
