you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
