Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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