Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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