Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
