Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
