Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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