East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
hell yes lets make some ravioli
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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