Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
