Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
