Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
