just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
