every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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