1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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