Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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