Plan B is the new Plan A
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize