do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
