Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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