Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
