38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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