If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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