Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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