i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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