I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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