If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
