Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
