Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
