haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
