You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
