No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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