the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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