Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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