Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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