My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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