So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
