Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
